


The Sparkly Amazing Race

by luxshine



Category: Amazing Race, Backstreet Boys, MCR - Fandom, NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: Amazing Race - Freeform, M/M, Multi, multicrossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-03-29
Updated: 2011-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 09:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxshine/pseuds/luxshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NBC wanted to add some pizzazz to one of their best shows. And then Lance had to make a bet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So, everything we say gets recorded?

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. This is going to be a *long* fic. Around 24 chapters, more or less, each as long as this one, so you can do the math. I totally should’ve done this for Nano, but I started a week earlier. Bad me. Second, I beg of you to suspend disbelief for this for just one thing: I know it’s impossible for celebrities to walk unbothered like I’m putting here in many parts of the world, and that at least one of the chosen methods of transportation would be forbidden in real life but it was for the sake of the plot. Other than that, I’ve tried to keep everything as realistic as possible, including travel itineraries. Finally, this particular fic has audience participation, starting with chapter 2, although the voting starts now I’m going to post a poll at my live journal (Just to make it easier for everyone to vote, and the poll is open to everyone not just to my friendslist here: http://luxshine.livejournal.com/156641.html#cutid1) so you guys will have the chance to vote for who do you want off the island at the end of chapter 2. Have fun!  
> Of course, the main pairing will stay until the last moment, but it's you guys who decide who wins, and what the final three places will look like.

It was all Lance’s fault. That was the only thing in Chris’s head as he stretched and tried not to think of all the other people standing on the lawn. It was safer to think of what had happened four months ago, when Lance decided to throw that stupid party at his house.

And just because Lance was determined to prove to everyone that he never held a grudge for long, **everyone** had been invited. Including one Reichen Lehmkuhl, who Chris now hated just in principle. Sure, Chris had agreed at the time, but it was because he had never expected that there would be a chance to prove that he was telling the truth.

Joey insisted all the time that Reichen was the one to blame, but Chris wasn’t convinced. It had been **Lance** the one who had rushed to defend Chris and Joey’s honor, and it had been Lance who made the idiotic bet.

Justin was also to blame, as he had actually supported Lance, since it wasn’t **his** ass on the line. Even JC, who had said that of course, both Joey and Chris could win the bet for Lance. And the NBC executives, for coming up with the opportunity for said bet.

Everyone was to blame, Chris mused, but since he was already there, and there was no way out, he and Joey just had to win.

*           *           *          

“This is Orlando, Florida, home of world famous amusement parks. From this tourism mecca, twelve very special teams will embark on a race around the world for one million dollars to be donated to the charity of their choice.”

The huge screen in Justin’s house was showing Phil Keoghan standing in front of the Universal Studios Hard Rock Café as he started the now famous introduction for the show that had lasted 16 seasons so far. The camera cut every so often to a tour bus from the studio, where the selected couples for the competition looked very relaxed and ready to start the race.

In front of the TV, Justin had placed everything he and JC could possibly need. There was popcorn and chips, about twenty liters of soda of all different flavors, the remote control, in a very accessible position, and of course, the TiVo control, in case they wanted to see anything again. It was just luck that neither he nor JC had anything important to do the day of the Amazing Race Celebrity Edition premiere, and Justin was determined to make the most of it.

“Teams are now being transported to the starting line at the entrance of the Universal Studios. Each team is made of two people with an existing relationship who have worked in the entertainment business.”

“So, have you asked Chris or Joey how it went down?” Justin asked as the camera panned down to show every contestant in detail.

“I haven’t seen them yet. Stupid binding agreements.” JC murmured. They both had decided to watch the show together, after Lance refused to help them try to get their friends to say who won before the show had aired, before they realized that Chris and Joey were probably avoiding them to make sure that they wouldn’t ask. Sure, both JC and Justin understood the importance of the legal agreements that forbid all contestants from revealing **anything** about the Race until after all the episodes had aired, but JC was sure that the Way brothers **had** told the other members of My Chemical Romance if they had won or been eliminated early. It was only fair that Chris and Joey did the same.

But since their friends were being stubborn, Justin and JC had no other choice than to actually watch the show. It would show them, Justin guessed, if they managed to tape any embarrassing moments. And if he remembered the one season that they **all** had to see when Lance was dating Reichen correctly, there should be a lot of embarrassing moments.

“The competition **looks** hard,” Justin said, laughing, as they watched Chris and Joey say how much they had traveled together and how they were going to win the race to give the money for unprivileged kids. “I had no idea that AJ and Kevin were in this too!”

“I knew,” JC smiled. “Howie told me when I was working with them that AJ was not going to be at the studio for a while.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Justin scoffed, and then turned to look at the screen where Tom DeLonge and Mark Hoppus were rehearsing together and saying something about mending friendships. “When did Blink 182 reunite? I thought they had fought or something.”

“Last year, or did you miss all the ‘Since Backstreet Boys and Blink 182 came back again, when can we expect a new *N Sync album’ questions?” JC laughed. “Now, silence. They’re going to start.”

Now standing in front of Phil, as the camera panned one more time to show all the contestants. All twelve couples looked as if they were  ready to start sprinting. Besides Chris and Joey, who were standing at the far right, there were Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, Portia DeRossi and Ellen Degeneres, Tom DeLounge and Mark Hoppus, AJ McLean and Kevin Richardson, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline (much to Justin’s annoyance), Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson, Jesse Spencer and Jennifer Morrison, Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, Gerard and Mikey Way, and, finally, Pink and Christina Aguilera. It was a very interesting mix of singers, actors and comedians, but Justin was confident that Chris and Joey could win. At the very least, he hoped they managed to beat Britney and her ex.

“When I give the word, you’ll run towards your bags, read the clue and go into one of the cars. The first couple to reach the final line will receive one million dollars. Is everyone ready?”

*           *           *

Chris barely heard Phil say “Go” when he felt Joey drag him forward to where the bags were placed. In the run through the entrance of the studios, he almost crashed against Jared Padalecki, as the actor was crossing the road diagonally to get to their bags, and he thought he heard Britney yell something that sounded a lot like “Move over, Kevin!” that could’ve been directed to her husband or Richardson, although he was pretty sure that the Backstreet team was in front of them.

“Get the clue!,” Joey told him, picking up their bags in one hand. As much as they both wanted to keep on running, rules stated that they had to read the clue before getting into the vans provided by the show.

Chris grabbed the envelope that Joey handed him and ripped it open easily, reading the first instruction out loud for the benefit of the cameraman that had been assigned to their team.

“Fly to México City!”

“I hope you’ve practiced your Spanish,” Joey said, running away towards the vans.

“I’ll drive!” Chris ran to catch up with Joey, who passed him one of the two bags. He followed Joey to a bright blue van with flames painted on the side. It wasn’t the first car of the line, but Chris paid no attention, adrenaline had finally kicked in and he was ready to kick butt.

*           *           *

“Go, go!” Goldie Hawn was hurrying Kate Hudson as they reached a white van that was the first one in the line of vans ready to go. “You drive!”

“Move over, Kevin!” Britney sounded pissed as she shoved her ex-husband out of the way, reaching the third van, and Justin smiled. After hearing Britney saying to the camera that she was hoping that in the race she and Kevin Federline could find again their love and save their marriage, it was nice to see that she wasn’t that convinced that it could be done

“We’re on third, hurry up, AJ!” Kevin was already inside the van when the Hudson/Hawn team was starting their motor.

“Remember, Rupert, here they drive on the left!” Emma Watson was sitting on the back seat of their van while Rupert Grint diligently put on his seatbelt.

“Wait,”  Justin frowned while the show once again changed from the actual race to a pre-taped interview, this time of the two British actors, insisting that they were best friends and thought of each other as brother and sister. “I thought only Americans could participate in the race.”

“That’s the way rules are, usually.” JC was flipping through a TV Guide where they had outlined the twelve teams. “But they made an exception for the Celebrity edition. Dude, TV Guide places Chris and Joey as the first ones to be eliminated.”

“No way,” Justin grabbed the magazine from JC’s hands and started reading the article. “Uh. So it’s because they aren’t in good shape? Geez! Have they *seen* the show? And they think all the singers will be out before the final five?”

“They have a point about the actors traveling more,” JC pointed out. “But not about the experience. There are a lot of stunt doubles in their movies.”

“We did a couple of world tours back then,” Justin wasn’t very convinced. He didn’t add that he had been doing world tours on his own because that didn’t help Chris or Joey’s experience.

“How do we get to the airport?” Jesse Spencer was driving a silver van, while Jennifer Morrison was navigating the map. Before she could answer him, the scene faded to the pre-recorded interview of the couple, who looked quite friendly despite having broken up their engagement two years ago.

“We’re friends,” Jesse said, as Jennifer smiled and leaned on his shoulder. “But we’re always on the set, always working. So we decided to do this to find how we work as friends without the hassle of doing a show every week.”

“Except that we still have cameras around,” Jennifer added, laughing. “It seems we just can’t get away from those.”

*           *           *

“So, everything we say gets recorded?”

AJ asked while Kevin kept his foot on the accelerator. It had been a while since they had been in Orlando, but some things in life were like learning to drive a bicycle, you just never forgot the basics. Things like how to get to the Orlando International Airport were easy, and that gave their team a good home advantage –even if Chris, Joey, Britney and Christina also had the same advantage, all things considered. The first stop was also a stroke of luck, México was one of the usual stops for the Backstreet tours and Kevin still had fond memories of that country. They could win this leg.

“Yes, that was the general gist of the contract we signed.” Eyes on the road, Kevin kept trying to see the other teams. Further ahead, he could see the red and yellow van that Pink and Christina had chosen to drive, and a black van that he was almost sure was the Blink 182 van. Third place was good enough, as long as they managed to get a good flight. “What are our plane options?”

“Continental or Aeromexico,” AJ answered and Kevin heard the sound of paper being shuffled. “Continental is the one that arrives earlier, so we should aim for that. So, if I talked to you about one of the guys deep dark secrets, everyone would know?”

“Yes, and then I would have to help them to hide your body, so don’t,” Kevin shook his head. He knew AJ was only played it up for the cameras and so, he decided to joke along. Even if they had some serious stuff to fix in the trip, they weren’t going to do that in front of millions of viewers. “How much do we have for this leg?”

“$140, not much. You take care of it.” And that brought back memories of the time when the group was still starting, and Lou was the one who assigned them their money for the week. $140 back them would’ve been a fortune, and of course, they all asked Kevin to keep track of their expenses.

And that was something that Kevin wasn’t in a hurry to repeat.

“I drive, you keep the money,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. There had been a lot of things unsaid when he had left the group and one of those was that he trusted AJ So he was going to take advantage of the race to show his friend exactly that.

*           *           *

The first ones to arrive to the airport were Portia and Ellen, and Justin had to admit that the couple **were** tough competitors. They hadn’t been shown much during the drive, with Portia driving and Ellen reading the directions quickly and efficiently. They could be hard to beat, so he hoped Chris and Joey had been wary of them. Just because Ellen was a friend and treated them very nicely whenever they went to her show it didn’t mean she would let them, or anyone else win.

Behind them, Jared and Jensen were running right into Terminal A, as they all wanted the Continental flight that would arrive in México City at 2:25 p.m, one hour earlier than the one from Aeromexico.  And Chris and Joey were still on the highway, in fifth place according to the subtitles.

“C’mon, Chris, hurry up!” JC said, as he grabbed the popcorn. “What’s taking them so long?”

“They lost time at the exit of the park, but as long as they get there in sixth place, they can get in the Continental flight,” Justin pointed out. “Jared just said that there were seven places on that.”

“But if Zac and Vanessa pass them, they’ll get on the Aeromexico one.” As if JC had conjured them up, the High School Musical couple appeared on the screen, as Zac decided to change lanes and the subtitle announced that they had jumped from eight place to fifth, placing Chris and Joey in seventh.

“JC, you jinxed them!”

“It’s not my fault, this was taped six months ago!” JC crossed his arms, and focused on the screen as if by pure willpower he could make any of the other teams get a flat tire to get Chris and Joey back in the top five.

*           *           *

“Hey! *N Sync!” Mark Hoppus was waving at Chris as he and Joey ran inside the Orlando airport terminal. They had no idea in which place they were at the time, but since he was sure that they had left before the Blink guys, it meant that somewhere in the highway they had gotten far behind. He only hoped they weren’t the last ones. “The Continental flight is full, the Way brothers got the last ticket.”

“Fuck!”  Chris swore at the same time that Joey frowned at the other men.

“You sure? It’s not a trick to make us lose the chance to get on that flight, is it?” Chris thought that Joey was being too blunt, but since he figured that every team was out to win, it was very possible that someone would lie to misdirect the other teams.

“It’s too soon for that,” Tom offered his hand to Chris, who shook it immediately. Chris had gone to a couple of Angels & Airwaves concerts, so he was friendly with the guitarist. “We thought we would wait until the second leg or so.”

“I hope you don’t mind if we check for ourselves.” Joey hadn’t even lowered the bag, and Mark and Tom just shrugged.

“Go ahead. We’ll keep your place at the Aeromexico line, just so you know that we’re on the level,” Mark said and he and Tom just started running towards the aeroline desk.

“It’s a little early to be so suspicious, isn’t it, Joe?” Chris asked. Joey was already sprinting towards the Continental desk, not turning around.

“I don’t know how it was in Gone Country, but I’ve heard enough stories about the Race that I don’t want to take chances,”

“No chances,” Chris agreed, just as they got to their line. “But maybe we could try and strike a pact with other teams. At least for the first five legs or so.”

*           *           *

“Hi, Vanessa?” Rupert Grint walked towards where Hudgens and Effron were sitting on the Continental Flight. None of the teams weren’t being mobbed by fans because the cameramen had asked the rest of the passengers to let them move about normally, and then Mrs. Hawn had promised that if they did, whoever wanted an autograph or a photo would get them as soon as the flight started. Unfortunately for all of them, the flight was being held down for some unexplained reason.

“Yeah?” The High School Musical star smiled at him as she put down the inflight magazine. The movies for the flight were a Charlie Sheen comedy and, ironically enough, High School Musical 1. “Rupert Grint, right?”

“That’s me.” He offered her his hand and she took it gracefully. “Look, Emma and I were thinking that you and Zac, with us, we’re the youngest teams, right? So maybe we should help each other out, at least until we get to the last leg.”

“Like an alliance?” Zac looked up and smiled at Emma, who was sitting a few rows back. “The teen idols vs. everyone else?”

“That sounds so bad,” Vanessa shook her head, amused. But she was smiling, so Rupert knew they had a chance that the Americans would accept his proposal.

*           *           *

“I can’t fucking believe it!” Justin cheered. The Continental flight, who was supposed to arrive at 2:45 p.m local time in México City had been delayed due to weight issues, as people were carrying too much luggage. On the other hand, the Aeromexico flight, Chris and Joey’s flight, had not only left on time, but for some weird reason, managed to get to México earlier, arriving at 2:30 p.m. Which mean that the delayed teams were now in first place.

“I think we need a table,” JC agreed. “Who’s in which place. Do you have a white board?”

“In the studio,” Justin said, not getting up. “I’ll get it during the break.”

Pink and Christina were the very first out of customs, managing to get the coveted first place. Following their clue, they got a taxi from there to Auditorio Nacional, the first stop for that leg, and Christina got the chance to show off her Spanish by giving their driver, who didn’t seem to recognize either of them, directions while Pink cheered her on. Behind them were the Blink 182 team, followed by Chris and Joey, now in third place; Jesse and Jennifer, in fourth; and finally Kevin and AJ in fifth because Kevin *had* been stopped by a fan right outside customs and the Backstreet Boy had been kind enough to stop and give her an autograph and take a picture with her.

“We played at the Estadio Azteca, right?” JC frowned, looking at Spencer trying to say to the taxi driver where to go in broken Spanish before the driver decided to take pity on him, telling him in broken English, that he knew where the Auditorio Nacional was. “Do we even know where they are going?”

“I think we also need a map.” Justin pulled out his iPhone from his pocket, not taking his eyes away from the television. The clue box wasn’t easily found, as it was on top of the Auditorio’s stairs and behind a column. “There are two big avenues that go from the airport to the Auditorio. I don’t think they can get lost.”

*           *           *

 Finding the clue was easy for Jennifer, who raced up the stairs of the Auditorio Nacional two steps at a time while Jesse ran after her. The park behind the Auditorio looked beautiful, and Jesse hoped they had time to come back and see it after the task of the day was done.  But there would be no relaxing unless they managed to keep a good pace. They had a stroke of luck with the flight, and he hoped it would continue. If nothing else, it was a good way to relax before they started filming House again.

“Use any means of public transportation, to go to the Coyotes Fountain, in Coyoacán, to receive the next clue,” Jennifer read out loud and passed the envelope to Jesse so he could read it too. The producers had warned them to read everything on the clues envelopes, so they wouldn’t miss anything, but what she had said seemed pretty straight forward.

“Excuse me,” he asked a young couple that were walking on the sidewalk and showing them the clue. “Do you know how to get here?”

The two looked at each other, talking in Spanish, then the man turned to Jesse, pointing to the avenue. “You have to get on the Periferico up until Barranca del Muerto, then Universidad. It’s a bit far.”

“O se pueden ir en metro,” the girl added, pointing to a bright orange sign a block away. “Es más rápido.”

Jesse turned to see Jennifer, who was now next to him. Their camera and sound crew were also there, but he knew better than to look at them. The Producers had asked them to ignore the camera completely unless they had something to say to the audience and Jesse doubted that “what the fuck do we do now?” counted as something that could be broadcast.

“We better take a cab,” Jennifer said, adjusting her back pack. “I really don’t fancy getting lost in our first day of the race.”

*           *           *

“The Mexico City Metro is the second largest metro system in North America right after the New York City subway, serving more than 1.460 billion passengers each year. It consists of 163 stations and 12 lines. Although many parts of the city are easily reachable thanks to this system which is also one of the cheapest in the world, its maze-like connections may make people think twice about using it for the first time.”

While Phil explained in a voice over the pros and the cons of using the subway as a method of transportation, JC and Justin watched in horror as Chris and Joey choose to bypass the taxis, but were followed very closely –or at least, it seemed that it was very closely thanks to the ingenious editing of the show- as did Way brothers, who had gotten lucky with their cab driver who apparently knew how to teleport from the Airport to the Auditorio, and the Blink 182 team.

“They’re going to get lost,” JC predicted, and Justin hit him on the shoulder.  After seeing Jared and Jensen cross paths with Vanessa and Zac, the camera cut to Kevin and AJ inside their own cab.

“Of course, Kevin Richardson had to be the rational one,” Justin shook his head. “How are they supposed to know where they’re supposed to get off the train?”

“We have to trust Chris and Joey. I’m sure they know what they’re doing.” JC didn’t sound very convinced, probably because at the moment they were watching all the teams who had sensibly chosen to travel by cab, and it seemed to both JC and Justin that they were going very fast. Portia and Ellen were joking and laughing, Rupert and Emma were enjoying the view, and none of them looked stressed. On the other hand, the two teams in the subway looked as if they were getting half-crushed due to the sheer quantity of people in the trains, and Justin wondered how they had managed to get the camera and sound man on the metro without a hitch.

Pink and Christina had decided to try a complete different approach, by getting on a bus, same as Goldie and Kate, that seemed to be following them.  And a panoramic view of the city’s traffic suddenly made things look a lot harder than it had been for the teams in the cabs.

*           *           *

“Why the **fuck** did I follow you here?!” Gerard Way was not a happy man. He had followed Mikey to the subway station because Mikey said that someone had told him that it was the quickest way to Coyoacán, and Gerard trusted his brother. Besides, it was just the subway. He had mastered the New York City Subway.  Why should it be any different in México City?  The New York Subway prepared you for anything, or so Gerard had thought. Mexico City subway couldn’t be that difficult.

However, not only he was being crushed by the cameraman and a guy wearing a very stained shirt that had a drunken frog holding a tequila bottle, and the microphone stand was poking him in the ribs and he was pretty sure that Mikey had groped him accidentally. In fact, he hoped it had been Mikey because there were far too many people on the car with them and he had no idea how they were going to get out because every time the train stopped, it seemed as if more people poured in and he was starting to get the idea of how a sardine felt when it was put in a can.

“Because we lose if we’re not together all the time!” Mikey answered, grinning like a loon. And yes, Gerard had to admit that, even with the poking and the groping and the indescribable substance that was sticking to his left foot, the race so far had been fun.

“Ok, next time?” Gerard tried to move closer to his brother, not giving his back to the camera because he knew that the producers needed footage of their faces, at the same time that someone, in the far back of the bar started selling a bootleg copy of great hits of the 80’s carrying a boom box so Gerard realized that he had to yell to be heard. “ **I’m** picking up the car!”

“Whatever, dude!” Mikey laughed, circling him to stand back to the door. “I think this is our stop!”

*           *           *

“The *N Sync team is there!” Gerard Way was coming out of the Coyoacán station next to a small mall, attracting everyone’s attention as he pointed to the other side of the avenue where Chris and Joey were getting out of the same station. “How did they got here so fast?”

“Told you the subway was fast!” Mikey answered as he looked around, trying to find the fountain mentioned in the clues folder. The sun was going down so JC and Justin figured that soon would be time for the teams to find a place to sleep. With only a hundred dollars or so.  “Where are the Coyotes?”

The scene cut again to show the fountain of the playing coyotes in the middle of a park. As Phil showed more pictures of the parks, he explained it’s name’s origins.

“The name Coyoacán comes from the word Coyohuacan that in Nahuatl means ‘place where Coyotes live’. In this part of the race, teams must figure out how to get to the Plaza Hidalgo and El Jardin Centenario, where they’ll receive the next clue.”

“That doesn’t look at all like where Joey and Chris are,” JC commented, as he finished drawing the table to keep track of the team’s placements. So far, Chris and Joey and the Way brothers were tied on first.  “Maybe they got off at the wrong station?”

“Not according to Wikipedia.” Justin frowned, looking down to his iPhone. “There’s no direct way to get to the fountain unless they get either a bus or a taxi”

“So the other teams still can catch up with them?” JC shook his head. On the screen, Britney was again yelling at Kevin, as their taxi seemed to be stuck in traffic.

“I can’t believe you didn’t ask if he knew where we were going!” Britney yelled, even louder than the horns of the nearby cars, and the subtitle announced that they were in 10th place. “I swear, Kevin, I’m going to kill you if the other teams get ahead of us!”

“I didn’t want to lose my temper.” The scene shifted again to an interview with Britney and Kevin Federline. “I know Kev doesn’t speak Spanish, and mine is terrible… but we’re in the race to win, and I’m not apologizing for what I said.”

“Brit is very competitive,” Kevin agreed, smiling. Justin thought it was the most fake smile in the world. “So I understand her frustration. It doesn’t change the fact that it wasn’t my fault, and I know she knows that.”

*           *           *

“¡Bajan!” Christina yelled out of the top of her lungs when the woman sitting next to her informed her that they had reached Coyoacán Avenue. It was the second bus they had to taken so far, but she was confident that she and Pink could make better time on buses than in taxis. They had seen a couple of the other teams in taxis, still stuck in the traffic. The bus had stopped a couple of times, but in general, it was going faster.

As soon as the whole crew left the bus, she and Pink ran to the opposite corner, where a nice woman had told her she needed to get a third bus, which would take them straight to the fountain they were looking for. Sure enough, there were four buses coming their way, so she lifted her hand, just like the other five people at the stop, and told her teammate to be ready.

“We’re so going to win this,” she said, as soon as they were sitting in the very uncomfortable seats of the bus. “I just know it.”

“Keep that thought, girlfriend,” Pink agreed, raising her left hand for a high five. “You just keep rocking the Spanish, and we’ll be the first ones on that mat.”

“Se van haciendo para atrás!” The driver yelled, as more people got in the bus. That was probably the only disadvantage of the route they had chosen, as it seemed that everyone in México preferred the small busses to the subway or the cabs. It was cheaper, as they hadn’t even spent five dollars on the whole trip to Coyoacán, but that meant that there was very little space when the drivers decided they could fit 50 people into a space designed to hold only 15 comfortably.

As Pink pressed against Christina, their camera man changed the heavy equipment from one hand to the other when the bus started moving without warning. “I’m guessing he said that he was moving?”

“No, he said more people were getting in,” Christina sighed. “Just hold your breath. It’s only half an hour from here.”

*           *           *

“We’re lost,” Jared looked around where he and Jensen had gotten out of the taxi. There was a subway station behind them, and many different streets connecting with the highway they had left, but no signs that read Coyoacán and none of the other teams were visible.

“We need a map,” Jensen agreed. “Do we even know where to get one?”

“There’s a camping store on that corner.” Jared pointed out to the store with a big red banner, bags and camping equipment in the window. “Or we can ask around.”

“I’d rather have the map,” Jensen laughed as they waited for the light to turn red.

“Fuck!” Justin swore. “They’re closer than they think!”

“You sure?” JC looked at the screen of the iPhone where Justin had accessed Googlemaps so they could follow all the teams.

“Yeah, they’re in Barranca del Muerto,” Justin pointed out an intersection. “It looks like they can go straight ahead and reach the fountain.”

“But they’re still farther away than Chris, Joey, and the Ways,” JC breathed easily.

“Why are we following Pink and Christina?” Kate Hudson asked, staying very close to her mother inside another short bus.

“Because Christina speaks Spanish,” Goldie explained, smiling. “So she can ask for directions a lot better than us which, in the end, will help us get to second place.”

“I know, I know,” Goldie shrugged in her personal interview. “It might have been technically cheating, but there are no rules that say that we can’t follow other teams.”

“We just want to stay in the race as long as we can,” Kate nodded. “And since we’re both terrible at asking for directions and we definitively don’t speak Spanish, it was a good plan.”

*           *           *

“I’m sorry; do you know where this is?” Gerard asked the first person that passed next to him. She was a girl with long dark hair and a black shirt. She turned around and then Gerard realized his mistake because her brown eyes opened wide with recognition, as she covered her mouth with her hand to avoid screaming.

“Oh, Oh, Oh… Tu.. Oh…” She said, grabbing her friend’s arm so she would turn around too. Gerard tried to smile, because he knew those gestures. In a minute, she would scream. “¿Eres Gerard Way?”

Everyone around heard, and he and Mikey were soon surrounded by people, some taking pictures with their cellphones, others looking around for paper.

“Great going, genius,” Mikey laughed, raising his hands to call the attention of everyone around. “Does anyone here speak English?”

A dozen people raised their hands so Gerard choose the one closest to him, another girl, this time with black and white hair and a black “The Black Parade” bootleg t-shirt. “Do you know where this is?”

The girl took a look at the photo and smiled. “Sure, it’s not that far in a car.”

“Can you give us a ride?” Mikey asked, smiling.

“I can!” a third girl raised her hand, giggling. “It’s like, five minutes away.”

“I couldn’t believe that we did that,” Gerard said, sitting next to Mikey during their interview. “We even took a moment to try and get everyone their pictures, while Amanda went to get her car.”

“I was sure that we were not getting out of there in time,” Mikey agreed. “But the fans were very cool once we explained what was going on.”

“Of course, it helped that we got all their names and they’ll get tickets for the next concert we do in México.”

“That’s cheating,” Justin crossed his arms, shaking his head. “Using your next concert to get a ride should be forbidden by the rules.”

“You’re just saying that because Chris and Joey couldn’t use that idea,” JC took a chip from the bag and placed a new line on the table that he had been drawing. “Unless they offered tickets for *your* concerts and when was the last time you went to Mexico City?”

“2001, Estadio Azteca,” Justin answered automatically. “With you guys. Ok. Point taken. But still, the Ways are cheating.”

“Cheating their way to first place,” JC sighed. On the screen, the Way brothers were reaching the clue box in front of the Coyote Fountain, as the girl who had given them a ride was cheering them on. Gerard opened the envelope as Phil explained in a voice over that the next stop was a detour.

“Clapping or Rolling,” Phil said, as the camera followed the streets of Coyoacán. “In Clapping, teams must wake up at 7:00 a.m. and find el Tizoncito, a traditional restaurant in the center of Coyoacán. Here, teams must go with the main cook and learn how to make and fry traditional quesadillas, and make twenty for the early risers of the city. Teams with patience and a good eye for detail, will find this easy work. In Rolling, teams must also wake up at 7:00 a.m. and find the bakery el Coyote, in downtown Coyoacán, where they will be handed a traditional sombrero filled with bread. Then, one member has to climb on a bicycle and ride all the way to Los Viveros to sell twenty pieces of sweet bread. Teams with good balance and charisma will have an easy ride.”

“So, Clapping?” Mike asked Gerard, who nodded. “I’m not sure how to balance a sombrero full of bread.”


	2. My feet hurt, we’re lost, and there’s not a pyramid on sight around here!

CURRENT STANDINGS (at the Coyoacán detour)

1st place. Gerard and Mikey Way (Brothers in a Band)

2nd place. Chris and Joey (Ex- boyband members)  
3rd place Pink and Christina (Pop Divas)

4th place Goldie and Kate (Mother and Daughter)

5th place Rupert and Emma (Best Friends)

6th place Jared and Jensen (TV stars)

7th place AJ and Kevin (Former bandmates)

8th place Zac and Vanessa (Teen heartthrobs)

9th place Jesse and Jennifer (Estranged couple)

10th place Portia and Ellen (Happily married)

11th place Tom and Mark (Reunited friends)

12th place Britney and Kevin (Divorced couple)

 

“I can’t believe we’re the first ones here!” Portia hugged Ellen as they got inside the restaurant where they were supposed to get their test for the detour. “We can get back in the competition now!”

“That’s one advantage of a morning show,” Ellen laughed as she entered, trying to locate the person with the Amazing Race banner. “I wake up a lot earlier than anyone else in the race.”

The main chef was an old woman, around sixty, who was all smiles as she saw them come in. Then, in Spanish, she proceeded to explain the process as she did one quesadilla to show them how. She took a fistful of dough, then proceeded to squash it between her hands until it was a perfect flat circle, about four inches in diameter. Then she grabbed cheese from a nearby plate, put it in the center of her circle and folded it in half. To finish it off, she put the end product inside a square shaped pan with a shallow concave sort of dent that was filled with boiling oil. Next to it there was a drying rack, filled with similar Quesadillas, all golden and crispy.

Ellen had to admit, they looked very tasty.

“Twenty of those sounds easy,” Portia smiled and folded up her sleeves. “Let’s get to work.”

“We’re going to win this leg,” Ellen answered and, because she felt like it, planted a kiss on Portia’s lips.

 

*           *           *

 

“We’ll do the bicycle challenge, it will be easier,” Joey mocked as he helped keep the huge sombrero on Chris’s head somewhat balanced. “No one forgets how to ride a bike, you said. And still, we’re lost, and we haven’t sold a single piece of bread.”

“The Viveros is close,” Chris insisted, riding very slowly as Joey ran next to him. They had chosen that particular arrangement because Joey was taller and thus it was a lot easier for him to reach the sombrero on Chris’s head.  “And once we’re there, we’ll sell the bread in a jiffy. We just have to get there!”

“I swear Chris, next challenge I get to chose what we do!” 

“Why are they fighting so much?” Justin threw a small piece of popcorn at the screen where Chris was trying unsuccessfully to keep his head still as he rode with Joey running next to him. “It’s worse than when we were doing the Celebrity tour!”

“They’re now in fourth place,” JC looked at his makeshift chart. He had grabbed a napkin and started scribbling during the last commercial break.  “They could get father behind if more people go to the Quesadillas thing.”

As if he had conjured them, the Way brothers appeared on the screen. Gerard had rolled up his red shirt’s sleeves and was up to his elbows covered in tortilla batter, while Mikey was putting aside the rest of the ingredients.

“We can do this,” Mike was saying. “It’s just like working at McDonalds.”

“Only messier,” Gerard finished, flinching as the oil bubbled in the pan.  Next to them, Portia was counting her quesadillas. Some of them were incredibly misshapen, but they all looked somewhat edible.

On the other side of the restaurant, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson were carefully watching the instructions to make quesadillas, and the helpful subtitle pointed out that they were in fifth place.

“They’re going to get ahead of Chris and Joey at this rate!” Justin crossed his arms, annoyed.

“But there are still other teams who still haven’t started the challenge. They have a fighting chance,” JC, the perennial optimist, smiled. “And they don’t have to finish first in this leg of the race. They just have to avoid being the last team.”

“Being the second to last isn’t good enough,” Justin crossed his arms. “I mean, what everyone will say if the *N Syncers can’t get at least in the first three places?”

“I don’t care as long as they stay in the race, and don’t break a leg or something,” JC pointed at the screen again where Zac suddenly lost his balance and let Vanessa ride with the heavy sombrero on her own. Unfortunately, the weight and lack of balance was too much for the young actress and she crashed to the floor, sending pieces of bread all over the street.

“Vanessa!! Are you all right?” Zac yelled, running to her side.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she shrugged, although as she stood up she winced. “You know, I think we should just do the other test. We’re **never** going to sell the bread that I just crushed.”

“I think we still have time,” Zac smiled and then, in a completely obvious move for the cameras, he swept her off her feet and started running towards the Coyoacán center with her in his arms.

“Show off,” Justin muttered. JC shushed him as the camera panned to Jensen and Jared who apparently had managed to get to the Viveros before anyone else and were actually having troubles with getting people to go away after selling their twenty loaves of bread to go back to the clue box.  On the other side of the park, Tom and Mark were just arriving, their sombrero slightly askew.

 

* * *

 

“That’s more than enough, Mike!” Gerard grabbed the plate where Mikey was counting their quesadillas again and ran towards the woman with the clues. Portia and Ellen had left a few minutes before, followed by Rupert and Emma, Kevin and AJ from the Backstreet Boys were getting close to the twenty quesadillas goal, and Britney and Kevin were waiting for a grill to be open for them to start cooking. Gerard knew that if the woman didn’t like the quesadillas they had done, or if they were missing just one, they would be sent back again to the line of people waiting; by now, the line was long, and Gerard wondered who had decided to take the other route, the one with the bicycles and the huge sombreros.

“If we get sent back, it’s your fault,” Mikey muttered, but followed him anyway. He had a few small red spots on his hands from the boiling oil but they didn’t hurt; it had been fun and now he was hungry because the smell of the food being prepared around them was just too good.

“Muy bien,” the old woman said, smiling, as she handed them the yellow and red envelope. Gerard took it, smiling and started walking away but Mikey stopped him to address the woman himself.

“Can we take these?” He asked, pointing to the quesadillas cooling on the plate.  The woman frowned, a bit puzzled, and then smiled brightly, handing the plate to Mikey who took it grateful.

“You’re hungry already?” Gerard asked, half-laughing, but Mikey couldn’t answer. He had one of the quesadillas in his mouth.

Outside the restaurant and away from the others where no one could hear them, Gerard ripped open the envelope, while Mikey finished his first quesadilla. He had to admit they were very tasty, the smashed potatoes and the cheese made a great combination. When they got back home, he was going to figure out the way to make them from scratch for the rest of the band, as he had no idea about what was on the dough. 

“Road block,” Gerard read and Mikey swore under his breath. The rules had been clearly explained to them; A road block was a test that couldn’t be done by both of them and they had to choose who was going to take the challenge right away.  “Who has the most rhythm?”

* * *

“In this Roadblock, teams must travel to Cuicuilco, one of México City’s many underground pyramids, where one of them will participate in “El baile de los Viejitos”, the dance of the old men, a very traditional Mexican dance. Once they have mastered the steps and performed it at least once, they will receive their next clue.”

“Hell, yeah!” Justin cheered as Phil explained the next task. “As long as it’s dancing, the guys have a chance! Joey can kick everyone’s asses on the dance floor!”

“How would you know?” JC asked, frowning. “You didn’t even go to cheer him during Dancing…”

“Because I was in Europe,” Justin answered, throwing popcorn at JC. “But I TiVo’d the whole season, and Lance’s too if you want to watch that after the show is over.”

“Deal,” JC smiled and pointed to the screen where Portia and Ellen were hailing a taxi. “But I still think the competition will be hard. Did you see Portia dance when she was in Ally McBeal?”

“Never watched it,” Justin said, pointing to the screen. There, Portia and Ellen were arriving at the mountain-like pyramid that was identified on the screen as Cuicuilco.  There, they meet with a group of men dressed in white, with weird old men masks, canes and huge sombreros adorned with colored ribbons. Three of them showed them the dance, which started easily enough, but became complicated as the music speed up, making it hard to follow all the steps.

The camera panned to the women, and to Justin’s surprise, Ellen took the sombrero that their guide offered.

“Let’s see me making a fool of myself,” the comedian laughed, as the camera returned to see Rupert and Emma and Goldie and Kate arrive at the base of the pyramid at the same time.

“Where the hell are the guys?” Justin yelled at the screen, just as it panned again to a very angry Britney, who was walking away from Kevin Federline. Their bread sombrero was on the floor.

“I quit!” Britney yelled, surrounded by curious bystanders who were taking pictures of her and her ex-husband. “We’re doing the quesadillas thing. I don’t care if I get dirty, it’s better than losing time here!”

“As always, Brit has to have it her way,” Kevin said, sitting on a bench, next to a very annoyed Britney. “It’s not as if I knew that this was going to be any different from when we were married. But here? It’s good, because it’s exactly that attitude that’s going to make us win.”

“He can complain all he wants, but in the end, I was right,” Britney said, punching Kevin playfully on his shoulder. “We did the quesadillas thing very quickly; we would’ve been first place if he had listened to me.”

The scene changed once again, to Jesse and Jennifer somewhere in the streets of Coyoacán. Jennifer was riding the bicycle, barely managing to keep the sombrero on her head, while Jesse tried to ask directions to Viveros. They looked hopelessly lost.

Not so far from them, Pink and Christina were suffering a similar situation. Pink had managed to balance her hat at the first try and looked very confident, but Christina was starting to lose her patience with the locals.

“No, no,” she was saying, as she pointed to the clue envelope. “Queremos ir al parque, no a comprar plantas.”

“I have no idea what she was saying,” Pink said in the voiceover, as the screen showed a montage of scenes with both singers getting more and more frustrated. “But I was trying to keep my optimism. We were here to have fun.”

 

*           *           *

 

“I’m dancing,” Joey said before Chris could finish reading the clue. “We need to regain lost ground.”

“And what?” Chris asked , frowning. “I can’t follow a choreographer’s instructions?”

“Obviously you can,” Joey had a tired expression that anyone who saw the *N Sync “Making the Tour” video would recognize. He was getting frustrated with the race, and it had only been two days. “But I just did my stint on Dancing with the Stars, I can handle this quickly.”

Chris was still frowning, as if Joey’s explanation wasn’t enough for him, which made Joey feel even more frustrated. They weren’t sure what place they were in, but it wasn’t first. They had lost too much time at the Viveros, after almost losing their whole bread sombrero twice, but they still had managed. Unlike Jared and Jensen, who after selling their bread had to go through a huge group of fans asking for autographs, which let them get the lead against the two actors.

Of course, that only meant that there were 10 teams unaccounted for.

“Fine! You do it. But remember, next Roadblock, I’ll have to do the challenge and I swear Joey, if I have to climb any tall building for it, I’m going to kill you!”

 

*           *           *

 

“Where are we?” Vanessa opened the map, trying to figure out exactly how they had managed to get lost this time. From Coyoacan, following the clue in the fountain, they had taken a taxi that took them to a big mall called Perisur. Unfortunately, they had hit a huge traffic jam and so Zac had decided that it was better if they legged it. According to the subtitles, they were in 8th place at the moment.

However, there was no sign of anything that looked remotely like a pyramid.

“Ok, this makes absolutely no sense,” Zac looked around, obviously frustrated. “Where the hell is that pyramid? The taxi driver **said** that it was just around the corner!”

“No, he said that we could find the pyramid from here, and then **you** got out, like a bat out of hell and left **me** to pay the fare!” Vanessa pouted, looking obviously distressed. She knew that it had been a mistake to come with Zac, their relationship was getting too strained now.

“You speak Spanish, I don’t. So… what do we do?”

“I **don’t** know!” Vanessa opened her arms, furious. “My feet hurt, we’re lost, and there’s not a pyramid in sight around here! How should **I** know what to do?”

The scene changed to Vanessa and Zac, wearing different shirts, as they were interviewed by the show. JC was starting to hate those interruptions because he felt that they interrupted the flow of the race and he was starting to lose track of who was where.

“I felt so ashamed afterwards,” Vanessa was saying, sounding completely different. “I mean, I knew it wasn’t Zac’s fault, but at the time I was so frustrated with everything! I really couldn’t keep on going like that.”

Zac kissed her cheek, smiling.

“I wasn’t much better,” Zac said,flashing his best Disney Channel smile at the camera. “I mean, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It was all my fault.”

“Oh, gag me!” Justin looked disgusted and as a commercial break started, he turned to see JC. “Please tell me I was never that sickening when I was with Britney.”

“Do you want me to lie?” JC smiled, teasingly. “At least you never did it on national television. Only on the bus, and we could tune you out then.”

“Ugh,” Justin shook his head, as if to dispel the memories of his first love. Then he turned his attention to the board that they had to keep updating. “So, who’s the biggest competition for this dance thing?”

“I’d say Britney, Christina, Pink and AJ. None of the others dance, right?” JC frowned at the notes he had started taking. He was **sure** he was missing something.

“ **Kevin** dances. He’s a certified ballroom dance instructor, that’s why he can’t compete on Dancing with the Stars,” Justin told him, as the last commercial ended. “But they’re still not at the pyramid.”

“How do you know that about Kevin?” JC asked, but instead of answering, Justin made a motion with his hand, indicating that he had to be silent. After all, the race was back on.

 

*           *           *

 

“You’re dancing,” Mikey said, not even pausing as they were running up the stairs of the strange round shaped, top-flatted “pyramid”.

“What?” Gerard was trying to keep up with his brother’s pace, wondering where the hell Mikey was getting all his energy. They had been running for almost an hour, because they had mistaken the name Cuicuilco for one of the subway stations named Copilco, and there, they were told that the pyramid was “just behind the hill”. He was already feeling that his lungs were on fire. “Why?”

“I sway, you dance. For me, that makes the decision easy.” Mikey was jumping up the steps, two at a time. And yes, Gerard had to admit he had more rhythm than his brother. It was hard to argue with that logic.

That didn’t mean that **he** wanted to dance. He **could** dance; he **liked** to dance; but he was **tired** , and he was a smoker, and he was sure he had left his lungs about half a mile ago. Once again, he wondered why the hell he had agreed to do the show. Sure, Mikey **said** it was going to be fun, but he could’ve taken Bob or Frank with him. Gerard wanted to be back at the studio, back at his home. There were scripts for Umbrella Academy that needed to be written, and they **really** had to start working on their new album. But on the other hand, he couldn’t just give up.

There was no way he was going to lose to any of the other teams. At least not in the first elimination round.

At the top of the pyramid, he could see Ellen Degeneres wearing a ridiculous sombrero with ribbons of different colors, and holding a cane surrounded by a group of men, all dressed in white with ponchos, similar sombreros and weird masks, and she seemed ready to start dancing. Not far away, Rupert Grint was holding a similar sombrero, nodding at something **his** instructor was saying, and Goldie Hawn was hitting the ground with her own cane, following the rhythm. As there were only three instructors, it meant Gerard had to wait for his turn.

“Shit, at this rate, we’ll never get the lead,” Mikey said, massaging his neck.

“At least I can get the chance to get my lungs back into my chest,” Gerard said, between breaths. “How many people are in front of us?”

“No idea, but look,” Mikey pointed at the bottom of the pyramid, where Fatone and Kirkpatrick from *N Sync were starting to climb the stairs. “At least there’s someone behind us… and I honestly doubt all the others managed to get here, finish the test and move on to the next pitstop while we were doing quesadillas.”

 

*           *           *

 

It looked easy.  Although they hadn’t gotten an instructor right away, both Joey and Chris had been looking at the other teams dance. The whole thing, as shown by the dancers hired by the show, lasted about five minutes, but they weren’t supposed to do more than three.

Ellen got it fast, since the dance was more a performance at the beginning, where the dancer had to pretend to be an old man. She  had a few missteps at the end, that made Joey remember Len with some fondness, as the old judge would probably have sent Ellen back to training, but she got the clue, which meant that the Ways were the next to get an instructor.  But no, Ellen finished her dance with a flourish to a crowd’s ovation, and the instructor handed her a yellow envelope and what looked like two Barbies dressed like her and Portia.

And that was weird.

Rupert Grint and Goldie Hawn seemed to be completely lost, as Grint had managed to crash against the audience two times. The rules said that each team had three chances to get the dance right before having to wait for a new instructor to be freed, but both actors were extending the instruction time as long as they could between each attempt.

So Joey sat down, and as he changed his sneakers for the sandals that were supposed to be used during the dance, he watched at Gerard’s first attempt to get the dance right.

The first part, which Joey was sure was only done so the show would get funny shots for the final edition, was the train. The main dancer held his cane back, so the next one could grab it, forming a three man train. At the end of the line, Gerard, wearing a poncho, a hat with ribbons that reached his elbows and the sandals provided by the show, was holding the other dancer’s cane and was supposed to follow the rhythm with his own.

The first steps were exaggerated. Gerard had to literally stomp the floor to make the wooden sandals sound, lifting his knee to his chest, as they were also hunched down, as if they were too old and weak to actually stand straight. The clue said something about it being a religious dance from Michoacan, a dance to bring the rain and good harvests, but at the moment, the only thing that Joey cared about was to be able to count the steps before he went with the instructor. He could do that, easy. Step-cane, step, step-cane, step, step-cane, step, step-cane, step… ok, the fact that it was speeding up and that the leader of the line was doing turns could make it tricky.

Gerard started holding his own, which annoyed Joey to no end because even if he was sure that Grint would mess the steps a third time, it would still keep Chris and himself in the third place, if the Ways managed to get it on their first attempt. Not to mention that it would put more pressure on Joey to get it right quickly. After all **they** were the ones who danced in their shows.

As the group gained more and more speed, Gerard started having trouble with his cane, and Joey tried not to smirk as the singer decided to just let it drag rather than try and keep the rhythm. When the group gained even more speed, Gerard almost tripped, but he managed to hold on to the Mexican dancer’s cane even during the last curve where he lost his hat.

He didn’t look amused.

The train finally stopped and it was time for the solo dance, which looked like a very fast tap dance done while hunched over. It had been too fast for Joey to count the steps, but he was pretty sure that Gerard had mixed them up a couple of times… something that was confirmed when they all heard Gerard curse loudly as he stepped on his own foot.

But before he could see if the instructor deemed that a mistake bad enough to make him repeat the sequence, Grint managed to lose his grip on the cane of the dancer in front of him again, thus freeing the spot for Joey.

He smiled at Chris, who smiled at him while crossing his fingers. It was time to show what a former boy band member could do.

 

*           *           *

 

“One of the most beautiful places in the city is the borough of Xochimilco, famous for its Trajineras. A Trajinera is a gondola-like boat, decorated with colorful flowers that sail through a complex system of canals about 110 miles long.  Here, each team will take a Trajinera to the famous Isla de las Muñecas, Dolls’ island, where they will exchange a doll for a clue that will lead them to the final pitstop of this stage.”

“Ok, that is creepy,” Justin said, as Phil’s voiceover finished while the camera showed a huge island where hundreds of old, dilapidated and broken dolls hung from trees. “How far is Xochimilco from Cuicuilco?”

“According to Google maps?” JC asked, not really paying attention to his laptop as his eyes were glued on the tv. Ellen and Portia were climbing down the steps of a harbor. Twelve Trajineras, each decorated with yellow and black flowers and the logo of the Amazing Race were waiting for them. “17 minutes, with traffic.”

“That’s close,” Justin nodded as the scene returned to the racers, as they saw Joey mastering the dance on his first try, just as Gerard started his second. And now, more people had arrived at the pyramid. Kevin and AJ, Britney and Kevin, and Pink and Christina were there, which meant that Joey and Chris had to really hurry. The three teams were good dancers, and they were going to get the choreography fast, which, of course, meant that Chris and Joey were going to lose whatever small advantage they had. “How long on foot? We’ve seen that Mexico traffic is insane.”

JC frowned as he saw the screen. “It says that it’s about seven miles. There’s no way the guys can do that on foot.”

“So it’s down to good luck on a taxi? Crap.”  Justin shook his head. “This is seriously bad.”

On the screen, thanks to the magic of editing, they could see Kevin, Christina and Britney rehearsing at the same time. It was an odd sight for JC and Justin, as the last time they saw Christina and Britney rehearsing **anything** together, it had been for the MMC.  Kevin, as always, seemed to be doing the steps three times slower than everyone else.

“I’m not nervous,” AJ said towards the camera, as Kevin held his hat in place behind him. “Kevin always managed to get the grasp of the choreography before anyone else in the group. Sure, at times the rhythm of it was totally beyond him, but it’s sort of a rule. All boybands had to have a not so good dancer. It’s a quota.”

“I can hear you, AJ and you’re not helping!” Kevin yelled, and everyone around, even the dance instructor, laughed.

Then it was Gerard’s turn, and this time, the singer managed to get every step right, so he and Mikey got their clue, and two of the MCR’s action figures that had been released during the Black Parade.

Then the scene changed to Chris and Joey on the taxi, where Chris was playing with his own marionette. Once again, Justin couldn’t help but feel déjà vu. When those things had been licensed, Chris had found many ways to annoy them in the long bus trips between shows.

“What I want to know is, where did they manage to get them?” Chris asked tying knots in the marionette’s strings.

“E-bay, probably,” Joey laughed, frowning at his plastic likeness. “You know, the more I look at it, the more I think we really should’ve madethem paint my hair completely red.”

 

*           *           *

 

Vanessa was about to scream again when her cell phone rang. She ignored Zac, who was still trying to figure out where they had managed to take a wrong turn, and answered the phone.

“H’lo?”

“Vanessa?” At first, she couldn’t place the voice, but as it was a girl, with a thick British accent, it could only be Emma. “Where are you?”

“We’re totally lost near…” Vanessa took a deep breath and looked at Zac. “What’s the name of the plaza again?”

“Perisur,” Zac answered, his eyes closed. There was a small group of people not so far away pointing at them, but the fact that they were accompanied by a camera man seemed to be enough to make the people wary of interrupting.

“Perisur. We can’t find anything that looks like a pyramid!”

“Cuicuilco doesn’t look like a pyramid,” Emma said quickly, whispering. Vanessa just hoped that what they were doing wasn’t against the rules. She and Zac were totally lost, but she didn’t want her new friend to get eliminated because of them. “It’s round and flat-topped. I think I can see Perisur from here. Is it a big white building?”

“Yes!” Vanessa didn’t want to let her hopes rise, but if there was anything that could make them get to at least the second to last place, she was going to try it. “Big white building with a P like logo.”

“You’re not that far… Get a taxi and get here fast! You’re still not the last one, the Supernatural guys and the Blinkers aren’t here yet, so you have a chance!”

“Thanks Emma!” Vanessa closed her phone and smiled brightly at Zac. “We’re not that far! Get a taxi!”

 

*           *           *

 

“I am not dancing again,” Tom said handing the clue to Mark. “All the Small Things was all the choreographed dancing I was planning to do in a lifetime.”

“Flip you for it,” Mark offered a coin. He didn’t want to dance either, but he was not going to fight Tom on this. Not so early in the race.

“Make it quick, the Js are here,” Tom pointed to the other side of the parking lot where Jensen and Jared were coming in quickly. It seemed as if they were playing rock-paper-scissors as they ran. Possibly to decide who was going to dance during the test, and why hadn’t they decided on the way there?

“Less than two days in the race and you already gave them nicknames?” Mark asked, stopping so Tom could flip the coin. “Heads”

“It’s not as if it was hard to figure that one out,” Tom flipped the coin, crossing his fingers. He **really** didn’t want to dance.

 

*           *           *

 

“Which one?” Gerard Way was racing down the stone ladder for the trajineras’ harbor, followed by Mikey. There was no sign of any of the other teams.

“No way! How did they get there before Chris and Joey?!” Justin yelled at the screen. “That’s cheating!”

“That’s editing,” JC pointed out, but he was also frowning. “I have no idea who is where now, thanks to it!”

Sure enough, now Kevin and AJ were getting their dolls, two of the old Backstreet Project dolls that had been included with Burger King’s kid meals.

“This brings back memories,” AJ smiled, showing the little plastic AJ to the camera. Then he pocketed the doll and started running behind Kevin, who hadn’t even taken off the hat or the sandals before climbing down the pyramid. As if he considered something, he turned back to the camera, laughing. “This too!”

“Where are Chris and Joey?!” Justin asked, but the show didn’t seem to care, as it switched to Vanessa and Zac, who were finally climbing up the pyramid, crossing paths with Rupert and Emma who were climbing it down. As the two teams passed each other, the girls hugged.

“Good luck! Careful with the cane!” Emma yelled, before picking up speed to reach Rupert.

“We’re still on the race, we can do this!” Jesse Spencer was cheering Jennifer Morrison, and once again, the quick editing of the show made it seem as if they had arrived just behind Vanessa and Zac. Still, JC thought that was not possible, not with the traffic that the program had been showing.

And finally, as JC and Justin were losing hope, the camera finally panned to Chris and Joey, just to show them getting down from their cab at a big street with a Harbor that looked nothing like the one where Ellen, Portia and the Ways had gotten in their own trajineras.

“Fuck!” Justin looked down at the map still open in JC’s iPhone. “There are two harbors?”

“How the hell are they going to get to the right one?” JC shook his head. “Well, if they were eliminated in the first episode, I can see why they didn’t want to tell us.”

“They still have time… if they realize they’re in the wrong place, that is…” Justin murmured, turning his attention back to the tv.

“I don’t think this is it, Chris,” Joey said, as if he had listened to Justin’s words. “Didn’t the clue say that they had special Trajineras for this?”

“Do you remember **any** Spanish from our last tour here?” Chris turned around, looking at the locals who had gathered around the camera. It wasn’t a big crowd, like with most of the other couples, yet another reminder that *N sync was not as current as everything else.  “Does anyone speak English?”

“I speak English!” One of the trajinera pilots raised his hand, smiling at them. “A little bad, but I speak it!”

“Is there another harbor besides this one?” Joey asked, as he and Chris walked towards him.

“How far is it from here?” Chris added, not waiting for the first answer. “Can we run there? Or take a cab?”

“Yes,” the Mexican pilot said, slowly. “Not far, three or four streets. Yes, you can. I know a fast way.”

“How?” Both Chris and Joey answered at the same time.

“By trajinera!” The man said, pointing at his boat. “I take you there in 5 minutes, for 200 hundred pesos.”

“Can we take it?” Chris asked Joey, who pulled out the clue envelope again. They both knew that not reading the rules could end up in getting a penalty.

“The clue says that we must take any kind of transportation available, so I guess… I guess it counts,” Joey answered, smiling. “You want to pay 200 pesos for a five minute trip?”

“You want to lose?” Chris answered back, smiling. Joey’s answer was just to jump in the trajinera, just as the commercial break began.

 

*           *           *

 

Gerard and Mikey got off the trajinera on the Doll island. Hundreds of broken, dirty and half dressed dolls were hanging from the tree branches. Most of them were old, cheap-looking,  bald, and their unblinking eyes made it look as if the dolls were following all their movements. It was an incredibly creepy place.

“I like this place,” Mikey said, getting as close as he could to one of the trees without touching the dolls. “Sort of like Norman Bates meets Chucky.”

“Remind me to come back here to take photos,” Gerard answered, as he tried to figure out if there was a system as how the dolls were placed. “So, where do we have to leave ours?”

Mikey looked around again. For one brief second, he felt again inside a horror movie. Blair Witch Project, the Barbie edition. But then he remembered that the clue specifically said that they were going to exchange the dolls for a clue, which meant that they needed to find the AR box somewhere in the labyrinth of dolls.

“There!” Gerard yelled, pointing to a clear spot near a very old and decrepit hut, also covered with dolls and stuffed animals that looked worse for the wear after years outside. Sure enough, next to it there was the familiar yellow and black box with the logo of the show. On the tree closer to it, Mikey could see the pair of Barbie dolls dressed like Ellen and Portia. “We are in second place, if we hurry, we still can get first place!”

 

*           *           *

 

“The National Autonomous University of México is a public university considered to have the largest enrollment in the American Continent. The main campus, known as Ciudad Universitaria, located here in México City, is a World Heritage site that was designed by México’s best known architects, and also presents murals painted by recognized artists like Diego Rivera and David Alfaro Siqueiros. There’s also a huge ecological reserve inside the area, were the Sculptural Space stands.  And this natural solidified lava bed is the final pit stop of this stage. The last team to arrive may be eliminated.”

During Phil’s voiceover, the scene changed quickly. There were not only amazing images of the University campus, but they also could see all the teams, running to get to their next task. Chris and Joey were jumping into a new trajinera, just as Kevin and AJ were running down the steps of the harbor. Gwen and Goldie were running down the steps of Cuicuilco, as Jensen danced for the instructor.

“Chris and Joey are somewhat safe,” Justin said, smiling at JC as he grabbed another handful of popcorn from the almost empty plate. “There’s no way they’ll be the last ones.”

“I don’t know, I lost count of where everybody is,” JC shook his head, not taking his eyes away from the screen. “The editing makes it hard.”

Chris and Joey were now at the Doll Island, looking for the clue box, while Britney yelled at Kevin to hurry. They also had gotten off at the wrong harbor, but Britney insisted on running to the right one instead of taking a trajinera. Then, the scene changed again, this time to Tom and Mark, who were arriving at the harbor.

“This is very weird,” Tom said to the camera, holding the small Russian dolls painted with the band’s logo that they had gotten from the Cuicuilco stop. “One moment we’re running, the next, we’re stuck in traffic, and then we’re calmly sailing down a canal. And it’s only the first day.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to keep the pace up to the last three,” Mark answered, grabbing Tom in a one arm hug. “Team Blink will be number one!”

The scene changed once again, to Ellen and Portia looking at their map. They were near a subway station, and the logo of the University could be seen behind them, but there was no sign of the Sculptural Space.

“We’re at Univeristy City, right?” Portia asked, looking around. One guy with long dreads and a shirt that proclaimed that he was against the system, stopped when he heard them.

“Where do you want to go?” he looked quite friendly, even if he kept looking straight at the camera.

“Do you know the Sculptural Space?” Ellen answered quickly. “We need to get there.”

“Oh, you can take the inner campus bus. It’s line 1 and it’s free.” The guy pointed to a long line of students waiting. It looked as if they were going to have to wait for a while, but soon the scene cut to them inside the bus.

And to the Way brothers in a cab, obviously going to the same pit stop.

Jensen and Jared getting in their trajinera.

Jesse and Jennifer looking for a taxi, outside what seemed like Xochimilco.

Chris and Joey, stuck in traffic, somewhere, in a bus.

Tom and Mark, getting their clue at Doll Island.

AJ and Kevin running across something that looked like a park, obviously looking for a taxi.

Britney and Kevin, in their own trajinera, as Kevin was yelling at the sailor to go faster even when it was obvious it was impossible to do so. In the background, they could see Goldie and Kate in their trajinera, although it was impossible to know if it they were on their way to the island or returning.

Rupert and Emma, running towards the Harbor, just as Pink and Christina passed them in the opposite direction.

Zac and Vanessa, running down the steps at Cuicuilco, obviously very far away from everyone.

“They’re going to milk the suspense for this one,” JC said, gritting his teeth. Justin didn’t say anything, as he was already on the edge of the couch, mentally cheering Chris and Joey.

Sure enough, the scene changed to show a first person pov as someone was running down the corridor of the Sculptural Space, right to where Phil and a woman dressed in a traditional Mexican white dress were waiting next to a big square with the show’s logo.

Then the camera panned to a close up of Phil, smiling, as he welcomed the first team on the mat.

“Gerard and Mikey…” Phil began, in the slow and carefully timed way that any fan of the show would recognize, but that for Justin and JC felt too drawn out. “I’m happy to tell you, you are the first team to arrive. Congratulations!”

Gerard and Mikey looked at each other, yelling and excited, before hugging each other.

“Fuck!” Justin yelled, as the scene shifted again to the other teams, hurrying each other up, to try and get the second place.

“We can still get the next place…” JC said. It was a good chance. Chris and Joey were among the teams inside a car at the moment, while Jensen and Jared seemed to be lost in what looked like a huge empty lot, and some teams were still at the Trajineras’ stop. If it wasn’t a trick of editing, they could still be around.

The camera panned again to the road before the pitstop, where Phil was waiting. Justin actually bit his fist, hoping that when the camera showed the contestants, it would be Chris and Joey.

“Kevin and AJ…” Phil said, as the camera showed an anxious AJ and a very calm Kevin. But then again, Kevin always looked calm. “You are the second team to arrive. Congratulations, you’re still in the race.”

The Backstreet Boys smiled, high-fiving each other and Phil, celebrating the fact that they were safe.  JC looked at Justin, who looked furious. Well, it was to be expected. That MCR got the first place wasn’t as personal as AJ and Kevin beating Chris and Joey. Still, they still could get third place.

The scene kept changing, and now it was pretty obvious that three teams -Britney and Kevin, Zac and Vanessa, and Jared and Jensen- were completely lost. Zac and Vanessa were still in Xochimilco, Britney and Kevin were stuck in traffic somewhere, and Jared and Jensen seemed to be in the middle of a desert. Chris and Joey were not going to be last.

In fact, as he saw them running through some familiar landscape, JC realized that maybe, just maybe, they would be third place. Third place would be great.

Except that the scene changed again to the Supernatural team and now Jensen was running towards a very strange looking white structure and what looked exactly like Phil’s back.

Somehow, Jared and Jensen had managed to get to the Sculptural Space through a back entrance.

“Jared and Jensen…” Phil welcomed the team, and Justin yelled as Joey and Chris came just behind. Fourth place. “You are the third team to arrive. Congratulations, you’re still in the race.”

Jared and Jensen smiled, but moved away from the square to let Chris and Joey stand. 

“Chris and Joey, you are the fourth team to arrive. Congratulations, you’re still in the race.”

JC and Justin looked at each other, relieved. Their guys hadn’t arrived first, but at least, they were still competing.

 

*           *           *

 

As the sun was setting on Mexico City, Phil waited for the last team to arrive. It was the one part of the job he didn’t quite like, as it meant to dash someone dreams. At least with the celebrity edition, he wasn’t taking away the chance to earn a million dollars, which meant that maybe, the contestants wouldn’t cry. He never felt comfortable with the teams crying.

The final team was running towards the pit stop, even when it was obvious they knew they were the last. There was a distinct resignation in their faces.

And still, he had to confirm the truth.

“Zac and Vanessa…” he began, just as Vanessa started sniffling a bit. They had had some bad luck, since they got lost in the way to Cuicuilco, and they had never managed to get back in the competition. “I’m sorry to tell you, you are the last team to arrive. Because of that, you have been eliminated.”


End file.
